The Oncoming Storm

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If you can't dazzle them with brilliance,
baffle them with bullshit.
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cross out the things you’ve done.

snapslikethis:

Graduated high school. | Kissed someone.| Collected something really stupid. | Smoked a cigarette.| Got so drunk you passed out. Rode every ride at an amusement park. | Gone to a rock concert. | Helped someone. | Gone fishing. | Watched four movies in one night. | Gone long periods of time without sleep. | Lied to someone. | Snorted cocaine. | Failed a class. | Smoked weed| Dealt drugs. | Been in a car accident. | Been in a tornado. | Been to a funeral. | Burned yourself. | Ran a marathon. | Cried yourself to sleep.| Spent over $200 in one day. | Flown on a plane. | Cheated on someone. | Been cheated on. | Written a 10 page letter. | Gone skiing. | Been sailing. | Had a best friend. | Lost someone you loved. | Shoplifted something.| Been to jail. | Dangerously close to being in jail. | Skipped school. | Had detention. | Got in trouble for something you didn’t do. | Stolen books from the library. Gone to a different country. | Dropped out of school. | Watched the “Harry Potter” movies. | Had an online diary.| Had a yard sale. | Had a lemonade stand. | Actually made money at the lemonade stand. | Been in a school play. | Been fired from a job. | Swam with dolphins. | Taken a lie detector test. | Voted for someone on a reality TV show.| Written poetry. | Read more than 20 books a year. | Gone to Europe. | Loved someone you shouldn’t have. | Used a coloring book over age 12. | Had surgery. |Had stitches. | Taken a taxi. | Seen the Washington Monument. | Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once. | Overdosed. | Been in a fist fight. | Gone surfing in California. | Had a hamster/guinea pig. | Pet a wild animal. Used a credit card. | Did “spirit day” at school. | Dyed your hair. | Got a tattoo. | Got straight A’s.Made out with someone| Played on a sports team| Snuck out of the house. | Swore at a teacher. | Gone laser tagging. | Had a romantic relationship/dated someone.| Been on the TV.| French braided| Skinny-dippedDriven a car. | Performed in front of an audience. | Gone bungee-jumping. | Been to Mexico. | Crashed a car. | Sky dived. | Been kissed in the rain. | Made an 11:11 wish. | Drank alcohol. | Forwarded a chain letter. | Made a mistake.

plot twist: if you want to know the story behind any of these, message me and i’ll tell

(Source: larryishellacute, via ghostgrime)

80,245 notes

awwww-cute:

My mom got a new puppy

awwww-cute:

My mom got a new puppy

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67,991 notes

love this everything 

(Source: blaindersonkummel, via ghostgrime)

360,417 notes

(Source: electromaste-r, via shiningvesperia)

438 notes

comedycentral:

Click here to watch Stephen Colbert take a look at impossible beauty standards on The Colbert Report.

Meanwhile, full episodes of The Report are always available on the Comedy Central app.

338,997 notes

Happy Doctober!

doctorwho:

image

3,176 notes

tastefullyoffensive:

[doodleforfood]

6,241 notes

(Source: felcie-asia, via avatarproblems)

580 notes

waxathrashee:

i’m just tired of feeling like shit and i’m tired of feeling like 2nd choice

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19 notes

(Source: jack-drinks-jack, via ghostgrime)

119,049 notes